6 Key Traits to Be a Better Listener

TLDR Summary:
Becoming a better listener requires cultivating six core traits: empathy, patience, curiosity, focus, open-mindedness, and self-awareness. These qualities not only enhance communication but also strengthen trust, foster collaboration, and improve leadership effectiveness. Start with one trait today and commit to deepening your listening practice.

In leadership, communication isn’t just about how well you speak, it’s about how deeply you listen. Too often, conversations turn into a competition of voices, with each person preparing their next point instead of truly hearing the other. The result? Misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and weakened relationships.

Great listeners, however, do more than just hear words. They create space for understanding, empathy, and connection. Whether you’re leading a team, nurturing personal relationships, or striving to grow professionally, mastering the art of listening can be transformative.

Let’s explore six key traits that will help you become a better listener and build stronger, more meaningful connections.

1. Empathy: The Foundation of True Listening

At its core, listening is about more than words, it’s about understanding emotions. Empathy allows you to step into someone else’s perspective and acknowledge what they’re truly experiencing.

In leadership, empathy builds trust. For example, when a team member shares frustration, an empathetic response isn’t just, “I hear you.” It’s: “I understand how that situation must have felt.” This validation communicates respect and care.

Practical tip: Pause before responding. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “Tell me more.”

Related read: Strengthening your emotional intelligence can amplify your listening skills and help you connect more deeply with others.

2. Patience: Giving Space for Expression

Listening requires patience—the willingness to let someone finish their thought without rushing in. When we interrupt or hurry a conversation, we signal that our time or ideas matter more than the speaker’s.

By practicing patience, you create a safe space for others to share openly. This not only reduces miscommunication but also encourages deeper insights.

Practical tip: Use silence strategically. Instead of filling every pause, let it linger. Often, people reveal their most important thoughts after a moment of quiet reflection.

3. Curiosity: Asking Questions That Show You Care

Curiosity transforms listening from passive hearing into active engagement. Instead of assuming you know what someone means, ask questions that invite clarity.

A curious leader might say, “That’s interesting. Could you elaborate?” This shows genuine interest and often uncovers new insights.

Curiosity also demonstrates humility—the recognition that you don’t have all the answers. And in leadership, that openness invites collaboration.

Try pairing this with a growth mindset, which encourages continuous learning and openness to new perspectives.

4. Focus: Eliminating Distractions

In today’s fast-paced world, distractions are the biggest threat to good listening. Checking your phone mid-conversation, glancing at emails, or letting your mind wander all communicate disinterest.

True listening requires presence. Put the phone away, maintain eye contact, and nod or use affirming cues to show you’re engaged. Even small non-verbal signals, like leaning in slightly, reinforce your attention.

Practical tip: Treat every conversation as if it’s the most important one of your day. This mindset shift helps you give undivided attention.

5. Open-Mindedness: Suspending Judgment

Listening with an open mind means suspending judgment and being receptive to ideas even those you may initially disagree with.

When we approach conversations with pre-formed assumptions, we filter information through our biases. But when we listen with openness, we discover insights we might have otherwise dismissed.

For leaders, this trait is especially valuable. By encouraging diverse viewpoints and listening without judgment, you foster innovation and inclusivity.

For more on building strong leadership skills, explore our guide on key leadership traits for emerging leaders.

6. Self-Awareness: Managing Your Inner Dialogue

Have you ever noticed yourself mentally rehearsing your response while someone else is still talking? That inner dialogue is one of the biggest barriers to authentic listening.

Self-awareness helps you notice when your mind drifts into reply mode. By catching yourself, you can redirect your attention back to the speaker.

Practical tip: Try repeating the speaker’s words in your head as they talk. This keeps you focused and helps you absorb more accurately.

Self-aware listeners build credibility because they respond thoughtfully not reflexively.

Conclusion: Becoming the Listener People Value Most

Better listening isn’t about mastering a single technique, it’s about embodying a set of traits: empathy, patience, curiosity, focus, open-mindedness, and self-awareness. Together, these qualities turn everyday conversations into opportunities for connection and growth.

Whether you’re leading a team or nurturing personal relationships, these traits can elevate your influence and strengthen the bonds you build.

And remember, use DISC to tailor your listening approach. Growth starts with knowing your style.

So, what’s one trait you can start practicing today? Choose one, commit to it, and watch how your listening transforms your communication and your relationships.

This article was brought to you by Avery, Tracy Day's AI-powered leadership companion. We’re embracing the future of technology to deliver bold, relevant insights that provide meaningful, actionable information for today’s leaders.